As we begin to settle into 2014, I simply had to share this article by Madison Taylor to help us keep our experiences in perspective and focus on what is important as we navigate this new year. There are no coincidences. Keep the Faith. Hold the Light.
January 20, 2014
Experiences We Don’t Understand
All of the events in our lives lead to other events, they are all connected.
Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as “good.”
This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.
It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.
|I’ve read a few blogs today and noticed some themes. Holidays can be difficult to endure even during the best of times. Family is often grist for the mill. Close quarters for long periods can be trying. Being without them at this important time of year can also be difficult. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of so much activity, we fail to notice others who may be shy or feel like outsiders because family is not near. It can be difficult to ask for help during this season. Since I am no authority on the subject, I am choosing to share some useful information from UnitedHealthcare. Please share as you are guided. You never know when a kind word and an understanding ear may save a life.|
|Holiday Season Survival Tips|
|One way to handle feelings of stress and worry may be offering kindness. Compassion and support may be the best gifts you could give yourself or someone you care for. ~ compliments of UnitedHealthcare.com|
In light of my most recent ‘not so positive’ post (A Sound Mind and A Calm Spirit), I thought I’d also share what my Angels shared with ME immediately after I posted it. Yes, I must confess, I’m GUILTY…lol!!! I LOVE my Angels. Gentle correction is always key. Enjoy!!!
October 29, 2013
Passive Aggressive Behavior
Claiming our Feelings
The way to end passive aggressive behavior on your part or others’ is with complete honesty and truth in any situation.
If you’ve ever found yourself repressing your anger and behaving in other ways to get your point across, you may be someone who is adept at engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Although passive-aggressive behavior is recognized as a psychological disorder, it also describes the behavior that many people use to cope with confrontational situations. Such behavior has the outward appearance of being peaceful, yet it is really an attempt to express oneself in seemingly passive ways—usually without accepting responsibility for doing so. For example, someone who doesn’t want to attend an event with a partner might engage in behavior that causes them to be late or miss the event without ever admitting to their partner that they never wanted to go to the function at all. Procrastination, inefficiency, stubbornness, and sullenness are some of the many ways that anger can be expressed indirectly.
It is important not to judge ourselves when we engage in passive-aggressive behavior. You may want to consider that you are not owning your feelings or your expression by indirectly expressing yourself. Perhaps you are judging your feelings and needs as wrong—which is why you are expressing yourself indirectly. You also may be worried that others will judge you for feeling the way that you do. Remember that anger and every other emotion are never good or bad. They can, however, become toxic if you don’t express them in healthy and proactive ways. When we express ourselves directly, we are more likely to be heard by the other person. It also becomes easier for us to ask for and get what we want.
Once we learn to be honest with ourselves about our feelings, we can begin to directly express ourselves to others. By learning to express ourselves directly, we prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentment from cropping up in our relationships. We also learn to communicate with others in healthy and productive ways. It is never too late to start working on ourselves and our behaviors, just take it one day at a time.
“Love the Life you Live. Live the Life you Love.”
I’m working on a new venture. As I sit and type and contemplate, my favorite birds flirt and twitter around a blossoming Rose of Sharon tree positioned directly in front of my office window. I don’t blame them. This is from someone who happens to love thunderstorms – but not the accompanying flooding. We’ve had thunder storms consecutively for the last twenty-one days. In fact, storms rained out our Fourth of July celebrations early. Hummingbirds, Carolina Wrens, Chickadees, House Finches, Brown Thrashers, Mourning Doves and cute little Titmouses or Titmice (some argue that titmice is grammatically incorrect) – all gardener’s bird helpers- are enticing me today to come outside while the sun is up. Play before the rains come.
As I consider this playful invitation in the midst of my ‘serious writing’, it occurred to me. There are technically just 90 days to summer. Literally, out of 365 days in a year only 90 are scientifically associated with the season of summer regardless of the intermittent sporadic days that may feel balmy or warrant the name Indian Summer or otherwise. Just 90 days folks. We anticipate it all year long. Start complaining about it before we are a quarter through it. Mourn the loss of it having sped too quickly by.
It’s one of the few things in life that is consistently worth looking forward to and it never fails to delight; unlike say Christmas or Thanksgiving. Let’s savor it while it’s here. When’s the last time you ran like a child through a sprinkler system or a live water hose. It doesn’t have to be a bike ride on an exotic beach or a cruise to the British Isles. Simple things equally delight. How about ice cold lemonade barefeet on the deck? An evening stroll through the neighborhood. A chalk drawing on the driveway. Let your neighbors think you’re crazy and hug a tree. Take a camera out at 3 am and snap the stars. Who cares? It’s summer. It’s all good. How many more of these will we actually get to see and enjoy? Nothing is promised. Go outdoors and enjoy. What do you enjoy most about summer?
I don’t know if any of you are familiar with the works of Florence Scovel Shinn, but suffice it to say that she was a thought leader beyond her time. For all of the books she’s written, these rules sum everything up nicely. Dig deeper for the Laws.